We have five children; and two others by marriage of our older two. Nine of us had a holiday together in Penang recently, after Christmas. It was the beginning of a blessed time in our lives, as we prepared for the last in our family home to leave home. To begin his journey and with his destiny and destination with his Master and Lord; without parents to hold or scold, to leave and cleave, to move or stop, to turn right or left, but basically to move ahead in life.
As with all others, we had our ‘Go with Blessings of God, family and friends event’ for him last Saturday. This note now completes my message for his journey of leaving home, as we, Doreen and I, wish him well and all of God’s best for him as he moves on in life. Bon voyage, Isaak.
Fly like an eagle
All of us are born dependent on parents, to make you, to move you, to teach you, and to bless you on. There always comes a time when we have to leave the comfort of our home and move into the challenging and ever-changing world. Are we ever ready to leave?
Isaak, I left home at a tender age of 14 years and six months. Was I prepared to leave? I do not even recollect if I understood the specific question then. In the simplicity of our life those days, before our socially connected times of today, you trusted everyone and you assumed they all meant their best for you. So, we do not think things through as seriously as we do now.
After all, I was going away to a public school run by the government of Malaysia under both; the Education Ministry and Defence Ministry. Now, can anything be fearful or ever wrong with that? Never!
But, today it is different, Isaak. Not everyone you meet means the best for you. Many want to simply “use you to achieve their goals”. Most need your friendship for only a while. But I made many friends, who are closer than siblings, for a lifetime of friendships at and after the Royal Military College (RMC). You can, too.
But, Isaak, you have opportunities Dad never had. I would never have thought I could even go to Kuala Lumpur to study, leave alone to the US. So, go my son, and fly like an eagle. Learn from the eagle; how to cruise with the winds and to soar to greater heights. No one can stop you now. You are truly on your own.
Changes and challenges of life
Son, not all that glitters is gold. A friend of a friend is your friend, too. Give them trust, until they chose it or lose it. But trust is like pregnancy; it is either positive or negative. There is no such thing as a 50 percent trust for another. I call it a commitment; Mum calls it love.
Maybe we cannot teach you about relationships, because you told us this is your strength. Well, Isaak, grow new relationships, in a newer environment. The US is a very, very different learning environment. There are few teachers, but many, many facilitators of learning. Look, listen, learn and grow as you finish college. College is about growing your character; not only educating your mind.
Today the world has changed. Things moved much slower in our time. Today, before you leave home, the whole world already knows the physical truth of your departure, and social talk of your coming and going. Just go to your Facebook, and there your farewell party pictures are already appearing; and you have yet to leave.
Lessons for life
As you leave, son, I only have a few words of advice. Always remember your roots; that is where you are grounded, and where you learned base values. You have to never lose the ground from where you started and were grounded. There, you found nutrients and growth stature. Therefore, like that tree planted by the river of life, in Psalm 1, learn and choose right friends and company.
Therefore also; always know that you have deep roots which have laid the foundation in your life of values and virtues. We are Eastern Christians, and we found our faith more than 2000 years ago. Be proud of it; and do not let anyone deny your past.
Son, I learned an important lesson and principle from Steven Covey through his books. He says there are three stages of growing into maturity, in life. There is the dependence stage, the independence stage and then the inter-dependence stage. You are now moving into the independence stage. I hope we prepared you well, but, you actually received the most input, as you chose to leave us later.
Son, our Good Lord made you unique even before you were born and even gave you a name like none other. You are the only ‘I’ in our home of Js and Ds. You know why. The Good Lord has a unique plan for you; go find that plan and learn to soar like the eagle. The US is eagle country.
Do not let anyone limit you; there are no limits in life; except the Designer’s plans. It is called your destiny. Living out your destiny is your dignity. So, go as far as you can son, we are always with you, and so is our family, and friends; always.
Destination and dignity
Your destination, son, is your destiny. It is both a journey of making choices and also of defining your speed and right direction. Only you, with your Lord can define that; we can all only be bystanders who cheer you on. Like the marathon race, many start, but only few are the real winners. Winning is what you define winning to be; premised upon your destiny and your dignity; we can only remain cheerleaders.
Therefore, go, my son, with the full blessings of God, family and friends. You know our family includes our non-family (in blood terms) and they are with you and for you. Therefore, there really are no limits; go and become the man God intends for you to become. Love you! Dad.
